separation

The impact of separation on the family

When a couple decide to separate, it is often a process which gives rise to a mixed range of emotions Sometimes there is hurt and anger at each other or…
solicitor

Should I use Solicitors for my Divorce?

Many members of the public have this image of lawyers as people who become involved and over complicate matters when things could be so simple. The reality is that when…

The impact of separation on the family

When a couple decide to separate, it is often a process which gives rise to a mixed range of emotions Sometimes there is hurt and anger at each other or…
separation

Should I use Solicitors for my Divorce?

Many members of the public have this image of lawyers as people who become involved and over complicate matters when things could be so simple. The reality is that when…
solicitor

The impact of separation on the family

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separation
When a couple decide to separate, it is often a process which gives rise to a mixed range of emotions Sometimes there is hurt and anger at each other or towards a third party. In some cases there is frustration and annoyance at not realizing that the relationship had broken…

Should I use Solicitors for my Divorce?

Uncategorised
0
solicitor
Many members of the public have this image of lawyers as people who become involved and over complicate matters when things could be so simple. The reality is that when lawyers become involved and provide you with the necessary legal advice, you realise that unfortunately certain aspects of the divorce…

The impact of separation on the family

When a couple decide to separate, it is often a process which gives rise to a mixed range of emotions

Sometimes there is hurt and anger at each other or towards a third party. In some cases there is frustration and annoyance at not realizing that the relationship had broken down to this extent. On some occasions there is relief felt by both parties.

If children are involved this in itself raises various emotions for them which the parents have to work hard to manage. This area is itself a separate blog and I will not address it here.

Parents will eventually manage to arrange the time the children will spend with each parent either through mutual agreement or by the Order of a Court. This will ensure that the children spend time with both parents.

So what about the other family members that suffer as a result of the breakdown of the relationship?

Often there are paternal and maternal sides of the family that are sidelined and their relationship with the children is affected. In some cases this time the children spend with their extended families when their own family unit breaks down becomes limited in time or simply no longer is available to the children. This may not be purposeful but a natural occurrence of the breakdown of the adult relationship.

Children are therefore faced with spending time with one set of the family and developing relationships which become limited in nature. It is important that both sets of parents realise that the children have the right to know both sides of the family equally and that efforts should be made to this effect by both parents. Obviously time is limited and children have their own social lives if they are older and educational and activity commitments to contend with.

Generations ago families would get together and this occasion was often something everyone looked forward to. Those days playing with cousins and the early relationships that children build are often with the younger children of relatives. We lose sight of these relationships very quickly and they begin to change when children start school and break away from family exposure.

Sometimes such relationships are affected by matters beyond the children’s control, such as the breakdown of the parents relationships.

Children should be encouraged to maintain contact with cousins and family members when their parents relationships end. If nothing else, it ensures that the children do not have to end indirectly the relationships that they may have come to value over the years. In some cases is is accepted that additional contact with certain family members may not be appropriate. For example, where the families are at war and negative comments may be made by relatives to the child exposing them to adult issues. However, where a sensible balance is arranged and parents are firm with relatives about keeping the breakdown an adult issue, this can help children build relationships successfully with both sides of the family.

Grandparents are also an important factor in the lives of the children. They can teach children values and share experiences that busy parents may not have the time to share with the children. There are ways that the grandparents can help and assist the child in school work, reading, activities and every day interactions with them.

Time is important to us all and where relations are such that interactions with family members can take place, it is beneficial that the children are able to develop their relationships with the maternal and paternal families. It is easy to have tunnel vision when a relationship ends but everyone should remember that it is not only the parents that are affected. The breakdown causes ripples and a loss of relationships to the children and to others in the family. Remember, that the children have a family outside of simply the parents and siblings. Allowing the children to have a secure basis of understanding and time with their extended family allows them to understand and develop their own family dynamics.

Should I use Solicitors for my Divorce?

Many members of the public have this image of lawyers as people who become involved and over complicate matters when things could be so simple. The reality is that when lawyers become involved and provide you with the necessary legal advice, you realise that unfortunately certain aspects of the divorce such as joint property, savings and other assets and their division may not be as simple as you expected they would be.

Following the legal advice you may need to do things differently to achieve the result that you want. Ignoring legal advice and opting for the simple solution may leave you open to financial claims from your soon to be ex spouse in the future in which case this may may turn out more expensive than paying the solicitors to ensure that the divorce and separation is carried out in a structured manner with neither spouse having the ability to make any financial claims against the other in the future.

In any separation, it is a difficult time for both spouses. By consulting solicitors all options and solutions are discussed and we proceed with the most advantageous way forward.

If you decide that you want to employ the services of a solicitor in respect of your family separation, then here are some things which we would advise you discuss with your instructed lawyers:

  • What do you want to achieve from the process
  • Is the solicitor a recognised expert in the provision of family law advice ie Resolution Accredited, Family Law Panel member.
  • What is important to you in terms of the resolution of the matter
  • What are your uncertainties and insecurities about the relationship ending
  • Any financial concerns that you have following the separation
  • The costs involved and how these are to be paid.
  • The timescale involved in the matter and any potential foreseeable delays
  • Ask for a breakdown of how their charges are calculated
  • Agree a level of service with them.
  • How often will you receive bills
  • How long from receipt of the bill are you expected to pay
  • Make a list of questions that you would like to ask
  • How long will it to take too reach various stages within the process
  • How much experience does the lawyer have in dealing with such cases
  • An estimate of how much the matter is likely to cost in total

These are not the only questions but asking the above will ensure that you have sufficient information available to make the decisions required in your separation process.

I always encourage clients to remain focused on the issues that exist and the solutions that we can achieve. Its is also important that you feel that you can work with your solicitor as a team. It is important that you consider their advice very carefully and although it may not be what you want to hear, taking on board the advice can ensure that resolve your case in a cost effective manner.

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I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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One of the most professional individuals I have met. Always has her finger on the pulse

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I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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Determined, sympathetic, compassionate and tenacious. Thank you for the honest, straight-forward advice. I would not hesitate to recommend you to family and friends.

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One of the most professional individuals I have met. Always has her finger on the pulse

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I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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Determined, sympathetic, compassionate and tenacious. Thank you for the honest, straight-forward advice. I would not hesitate to recommend you to family and friends.

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Leeds Family Law

One of the most professional individuals I have met. Always has her finger on the pulse

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Leeds Family Law

I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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Leeds Family Law

Determined, sympathetic, compassionate and tenacious. Thank you for the honest, straight-forward advice. I would not hesitate to recommend you to family and friends.

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One of the most professional individuals I have met. Always has her finger on the pulse

Testimonial

I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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Determined, sympathetic, compassionate and tenacious. Thank you for the honest, straight-forward advice. I would not hesitate to recommend you to family and friends.

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One of the most professional individuals I have met. Always has her finger on the pulse

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I have received the statement you drafted. Having read it, honestly love how you are fighting my corner. I can’t thank you enough. You are the best solicitor my family have ever come across. I know I am in the best hands ever. Thank you ever so much.

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Determined, sympathetic, compassionate and tenacious. Thank you for the honest, straight-forward advice. I would not hesitate to recommend you to family and friends.

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